THE 3 THINGS THAT CRASHED 9ICE & TONI PAYNE'S MARRIAGE - Samod Biobaku

Finally!

Toni Payne reveals the three things that crashed her marriage with 9ice

When the news of the separation between popular singer, Abolore Akande a. k. a 9ice and his wife, Toni Payne broke on January 8, 2010, millions of music fans across the globe were devastated by the news of their matrimonial collapse.

Over a year after their separation, many expect both parties to have moved on with their individual lives especially as their chances of reconciliation appeared to have fizzled out.

However, like a mythical phoenix that simply refuses to die, their separation has remained a fresh item in the media and riding high on the strength of fresh insights that constantly pop up like online ads.

First, it was the allegation that Payne was intimately involved with 9ice’s pal (no longer on talking terms), then other unconfirmed reports that 9ice had found love in the hands of another woman and so many others.

No longer able to live with her reputation constantly getting thrashed in the media, Payne recently took the bull by the horn and revealed the three things that shattered the pillars that held her marriage together. The mother of Zion (9ice’s son) also reacted to other rumours about 9ice and herself; that have been making the rounds.

Did you hear the gist making the rounds that a lady in Abuja just delivered twins for your husband?

Yes I did.

Rumor has it that 9ice went into that affair because you went into a new relationship. How true is that?

That is not true. He has been in that relationship before we separated. In fact, the day I found out about it, I confronted her over the phone and she reported me to him. He came to fight me because of that and later called his parents (Alhaji Azeez Akande, Tawa Oshodi) to come and pack me and my son out of the house.

Some have alleged that she was the one who broke your marriage. Is this true?

Yes! She was the main reason along with issues with his family. All that Ruggedman story was rubbish. I'm not even attracted to Ruggedman because he is like a brother to me. Aside that, his manager (9ice’s manager - Fajana Oladehinde) was feeding his parents false stories about me because he wanted me out of the picture; because he thought I wanted his job. Also, his (9ice’s) brother, Dr. Wale Akande convinced them I was after his property because I stopped the brother from continuing with building our house after noticing that he could not account for some of the money in his custody. Mind you, I met my husband when he was struggling. None of his family members were as concerned back then as they are now. We were staying in my family house and his apartment with Jahbless in Ikorodu and I loved him regardless, so what property could I have been after? I toiled night and day with him so why would I want to cheat him? The parents would come to the house to fight me; yelling curses; trying to frustrate me out of the house. The mother tore my dress one day and I ran for my safety and that of my son. This caused a lot of tension in our relationship but instead of him to stand by me, he ran to another woman.

What was your reaction to the news about the twins when you heard it? Were you angry? Did you call him to ask about the news of a woman having a child for him?

Yes I was understandably angry because from day one, he knows I don't want polygamy for my children if I can avoid it and also because I felt he should have divorced me first and married her officially before engaging in such. What example is he setting for his son? Lastly, I felt if he would impregnate anyone, it should not be the woman who broke our home.

Why have you been quiet all this while about your marriage break up?

I tried very hard to protect him; even when people rubbished me. I never said, ‘Ok! He was the one who messed up’ because I felt he would be wise and consider my son’s interest when taking life-changing decisions that could affect Zion. A part of me wanted to believe he would never put his own blood’s future at stake for cheap thrills. I changed my mind about talking when I read a recent paper and noticed his manager was already trying to twist things to make it look like he moved on and got someone pregnant because I'm engaged. I'm NOT engaged so I just felt ‘enough is enough.’ I don't know why they must always bring my name up to justify their mistakes. I had to ask myself: ‘Why am I protecting a man who continues to make me look bad to protect himself? I felt it was time to be true to myself and quit deceiving myself about him feeling remorse for his actions.

Was it because you wanted reconciliation?

No! I just felt I should protect him because I guess a stupid part of me still loved him and felt he would come to his senses and at least do the right thing for my son even if we never reconcile. At the end of the day, I'm human and have emotions too. I guess I never expected things would get this bad.

For the very first time, can you tell us what broke your marriage?

Simple: Three things broke my marriage: His family's interference, his Manager's interference and his affair with Vicky Godis.

Whose fault, yours or his?

I can't say I was perfect but I never cheated on him. I was pregnant and later nursing the entire time we were married. Also, before I got married, I knew what being loyal was. I also knew there was no way I would ever cheat on my husband. It’s not my way. Yeah! I would get angry when he cheated on me. I felt it was a normal reaction when you love someone and they are doing things to hurt you but still I never left him. The separation was not my idea. My son was 11 months old; a week before his first birthday. His (9ice’s) parents threw us (my son and I) out. My son spent his birthday in a hotel. I was sitting in my house when his parents came. They packed my things and my son’s things into my car. I have pictures I took as evidence and I drove off with my son to a friend’s hotel in Victoria Island where I stayed for 3 weeks. Meanwhile, he was with Vicky in Abuja while it was happening.

Is it true you have asked for a divorce?

Yes! I have. He is yet to file. If he is so sure he doesn't want to be married, he should have no problems divorcing me. Allow me move on and give my son a family life he deserves.

Do you see room for reconciliation?

I am not God so I can't say yes or no but he has hurt me too deeply to just go back. It would take a lot of healing, although I’ve moved on; forgetting the pains is not that easy. At the end of the day, only God knows where our future is headed.

Some accuse you of forcing yourself on him and that you are older than him. They said he just couldn't say no.

I never forced myself on him. He did all the chasing; even when I said I couldn't marry a musician, he never stopped. He kept assuring me that if he got famous, he would not change and I trusted him. What people don't know is that we got engaged in November 2007, even before Gongo Aso became a hit. Some said it was because I was pregnant. That’s not true. I got pregnant 5 months after we picked a wedding date. I am not older than him. That report is also false. He is older than me.

Can you let us into how you fell in love with 9ice? Who toasted who? Did you make the first move or he did?

He toasted me and I resisted in the beginning because I did not want a musician boyfriend. I later agreed because I felt he was sweet and sincere. How he changed so much is what I'm not sure of; maybe bad advisers around him influenced him.

How did you feel when the news broke that you were dating Ruggedman? Did you ever date him?

I have said this hundreds of times. I never dated Ruggedman. I was never caught with Ruggedman or any other man. At first, I did not take it serious because I knew it was a lie. I’ve known Ruggedman longer than any guy in the industry. We have always been friends but never dated. Till date, we have been and still are like brother and sister. That Ruggedman story was a terrible attempt to destroy my reputation. I'm not loose. I don't sleep around. I don't jump from man to man. I know the consequences of cheating so why would I engage in it? Why would I build with a man when I know I still want to play around? Why would I destroy my home carelessly? I'm not stupid. That makes no sense to me. I thank God I have a fighting spirit because I did not let the lies or insults bring me down.

How did u meet 9ice? For how long did you date before marriage?

I first saw him in October 2006. He came to back Ruggedman up at Gbenga Adeyinka's Anniversary. We didn’t hook up till the following year. I went back to the states and we would chat online and talk on the phone for hours. We got married in July 2008.

How true is the story that you were too overbearing on him?

I do not think I was overbearing. I wanted the best for him so yeah! I may have pushed him to strive for the best. I don't think that's a bad thing or something worth breaking a marriage over.

How come it didn't work out?

It takes two to make a marriage work. If one party insists on not making it work, it will cripple any effort made by the other party. The mistake I made was entering with my heart and not my head. I should have taken his family background seriously and made 100 percent sure he had the same family values as me.

Let's get to know about your growing up years. Where were you born?

Though my family decent is Ogun state, I'm a Lagos baby. My childhood was fun. I grew up as the only child but had a lot of cousins to play with. Let's just say I had a sound childhood.

How about your growing up years and schools attended?

I shuttled between America and ‘Naija’ as a child and even till now so I attended primary and secondary schools in both countries but finished my university education at California State University North Ridge.

Having studied in the U.S, what professional/educational courses did you take?

I studied Video Digital Art.

Your parents - How did they influence you? It seems you are closer to your mum?

They taught me to be very open in all I do. Yes my mum and I are close. She’s always been there for me.

Your career choice - Why showbiz?

Showbiz is something I stumbled into since about 1999. I started it as a hobby and eventually turned it into a business. I'm happy I did.

You are into modeling, music and beauty. How did you find yourself in all these?

Life has drawn me into everything I do now. Something always transpires that leads me to my calling. Plus I'm a business minded person; very driven and don't mind getting my hands wet in new ventures.

How do you cope with managing artistes; people say that can be wild?

I am blessed with artistes that don't engage in bad activities so I count myself lucky.

Tell us about your label. How many artistes do you manage?

I currently manage three artists; Adol, Zara and Olamide and all three are focused people. Olamide and Adol just released their albums titled ‘Rapsodi’ and ‘Orin’ respectively. Zara is currently working on her debut album.

Did you ever manage 9ice? How did you cope fitting both roles?

I took care of his international relations as well as some public relations. I did it because I wanted him to succeed not because he hired me or was paying me. It’s what I love doing plus I was very passionate about his music so it came easy.

Marrying a star means you have to cope with his female admirers. How did u cope?

Well, I'm in the industry as well so I know it comes with the territory. It didn't bother me so far as he kept it professional.

What are your full names? Toni Payne sounds ‘oyinbo’ - How come?

(Laughs) Toni is short for Antonia and Payne is my last name. My Yoruba name is Seun

How come you and his manager didn't get along?

He disliked me because he felt I wanted his job. I believe it was ignorance disturbing him. I wasn't interested in his job. I just wanted to be helpful to the process by contributing my knowledge. Guess he knew he was horrible at his job hence the insecurities. For me, I dint care who managed him so far the person was doing a great job.

When the news broke that you were marrying 9ice in 2008, many felt you rushed him. Did you?

No! We did not rush. We were engaged before he got popular so because the marriage took place around the time people started appreciating him. They felt it was a new decision when it wasn't.

Zion also came in the picture. Wasn’t that a rush?

No! I was of age and so was he. We discussed it before. It was just because everything was happening around the same time people wanted to know more about him. It wasn't a new decision at all or something that just happened. No!

Is it true that this lady that had kids for 9ice has always been 9ice’s girlfriend before you came into the picture?

(Laughs) No! That is not true. My husband met her a few months before our separation. I believe this was around September 2009 or thereabout. Her name is Vicky ‘Bukky’ Godis. She works at ECOWAS in Abuja.

What did being a mother change in you?

It made me more tolerant and at the same time, more protective. A mother-son love is unique. It’s a very special feeling.

Any regrets about how your marriage went?

In life, there are always two sides to things. People never gave me a chance before judging me. I received so many insults and hate mails over something I did not do. It was painful knowing I was innocent yet a lot were quick to crucify me. I’ll just say to those who judged me blindly: ‘May God forgive you.’ Next time find out the facts before castigating an innocent person. In Nigeria women are usually judged unfairly and this act has to stop. It’s very; very unfair.