Saturday, 5 July 2014
The Dangerous Proposal (A Short Story)
Zulu: Baby, I love you, would you please marry me?
LADY: (Stands up and suddenly slaps Zulu) I have waited more than nine years, I have prayed, fasted, sowed seeds, bought books and listened to tapes, even went out of my way to be nice to every male species of 'marriageable' age! I took up new hobbies, watching football and playing Sony Play Station. I left Chipata, went to Lundazi, from Lundazi Iwent to Chadiza, then I went allthe way to Lusaka. I joined hi-five, from hi-five to Facebook, then I joined twitter, I even had a blog on which I ranted, hoping you would show up! For where? I uploaded only my best pictures on Facebook. In fact, I took photo sessions to look my best, all for you! I attended all the weddings, whether the invitation was direct or indirect! The next place I was hoping to check was the moon, before you crawled out from the house directly next to mine! So it was you all this while? The neighbour I said hello to every morning? Were you trying to destroy my faith? You almost rendered my prayer life useless? What were you waiting for? What sign where you looking for? Did you want to kill me before you revealed yourself? Now be a gentleman, get down on your knees and put that ring on my finger.
Zulu, totally stunned, replied: "I was only joking!"
Zulu's Burial is on Sunday.
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By: SAMOD BIOBAKU