The Things That Will Follow This SUBSIDY Drama

By Samod Biobaku

Sixthsense34@yahoo.com

Shortly after the presidency announced the removal of oil subsidy, I received a series of messages on my smart phone and while others dwelt on the grave consequences of the move, others shared its humorous perspective.

One of the latter that I received read thus:

(Note that this message would be understood better by readers who are familiar with the geographical outlook of Lagos State in Nigeria)

Aftermath of subsidy:

Fruits shop price list {in Naira}:

Apple- 300 (I no chop again sef)
Orange- 3 for 500 (250 for spoilt one).
Banana- 350 (babes don get substitute for this one 1 tey tey).
Water Lemon- 800 (robbers go dey hijack truck load of this one soon)

Transportation:

BRT from Ketu to CMS - 320 (Ketu people go resign noni.)
Oshodi to Mile 2/Festac - 600 (Can’t you stay in your house?)
Obalende to Ajah Lekki - 1000 (You sef find babe for mainland).
Lagos to Ibadan - 4000 (How people wey dey go University of Ibadan wan take go school? Later dem go say UNILAG no be better school).

Fast food:
Fried rice & chicken- 900 (Give me white rice and pomo...no stew o! Can’t afford it)
Meat pie- 550 (if she is not your wife yet, don’t dare)
Ice cream - 1500 for medium size (children go dey give their parents heart attack with this one)

Bar:
Fish peppersoup - 4000 (Ehn! Four people go share one plate noni).
Odeku- 1800 (na weed and Alomo sure pass now).
Isi-Ewu- 3100 (Na to dey thief goats now o).

Mart:
Peak milk Nigeria- 530 (Ladies! Run for your lives).
Pringles- 1100 (Pako biscuit back in business- PM News)
Five alive- 3000 (Make my female visitors dey buy cum o! Dem no dey sell 4 my area).
Wigan versus Westbrom N200, Chelsea FC versus Manchester United N1, 000 (Mogbe! inter-street match).