Damning Confession of a Married Woman

Her first words:

"I Thought I Was Deceiving My Husband"

My name is Anita. I met this guy in 2001 when I was writing WAEC. His name is Deji. One thing led to another and we eventually fell in love.

He was everything a woman would ask for; he is fair, handsome, intelligent and God-fearing and he loved me so much. He shared the little he had with me and he was willing to do anything I asked for though he didn't have much because he was still in the second year at University of Nigeria, Enugu campus.

I was not at the university yet and he did everything possible for me to gain admission into the university. I eventually gained admission in 2003 into the Enugu State University of Science and Technology and graduated in 2007.

Chapter 1: The Fling

At that point, I honestly don't know what came over me. I had a fling with this guy named Frank. I never really loved him but he ended up getting me pregnant. I didn't know what to do but terminating the pregnancy was not an option. I didn't want to lose Deji. That was not an option either. It was as if my world has crumbled. I cried my life out the day I discovered I was pregnant.

"I didn't tell anybody; not even my best friend because I never could tell what would happen if I did. I kept it all to myself and decided to play a very smart card by telling Deji that I was carrying his baby."

Of course, he believed me because he trusted me so much but I betrayed the very love he had for me. He was also a little scared but he summoned the courage and came to see my people, though my parents are dead.

I eventually put to bed; a baby girl. This was in 2008. As if God was bent on punishing me, my baby was exactly the carbon copy of Frank; the guy I had a fling with?

"I was not surprised because I knew the pregnancy wasn't Deji's but I was really hoping and praying that the baby would save me by resembling me. Of course, I was wrong. Deji accepted us even when he knew the baby did not look like him or me. I was not sure if he suspected anything and I was permanently scared. My life was lived in fear of being discovered.

I died in silence over and over again. My conscience remorselessly destroyed me. At a point, I hated my own child as I constantly saw the picture of another man in her. My husband, Deji loved her so much; more than anything in the world.

In 2010, I had another baby boy for my husband. My joy knew no bounds. I was really happy and so was my husband.

In 2012, I had another baby boy for my husband yet he loved my daughter more than his two biological sons. At a point, I became jealous but what could I do? I just couldn't bear it anymore so I decided to seek penance and peace with God by seeking genuine forgiveness.

This I did because I couldn't continue to die in silence. It was now for me to confess to my husband but how would I achieve that without breaking my home? I didn't want to lose my home, I loved my husband and my kids.

He is a wonderful man but I betrayed him. I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to confess to him... On the chosen day, I started by calling him on phone to ask him if he would ever forgive me. He asked what I meant by that. He asked if I was alright and I said yes. He eventually ended the call and I cried like a baby.

When he came back from work that same day, I served him his dinner. After that, I went into the room with him and told him to forgive me. I begged him not to punish our daughter for what she does not know. I begged him over and over to punish me instead.

Chapter 2: End of the Road

He asked again what I meant by that. I narrated everything that transpired between Frank and I. To my greatest surprise, he dropped a bombshell:

"I have known all these years that I am not the biological father of our 4-year old daughter."

I asked him if he knew about it and didn't bother to ask me? He said that he knew that someday I was going to tell him but he never knew it would come this soon.

It was as if the ground should open and swallow me. I was so ashamed of myself that I bowed my face in tears but he cuddled me and said he'd forgiven me long ago.

He told me no one was perfect and that we all make mistakes in life. He said that I was a nice person and that we have been through a lot in life. So, he could not abandon me now that I needed him most.

He told me that he could possibly throw me out so that people would laugh at me but added that he has always loved me.

He said that as for my daughter, as far as he is concerned, she was his daughter. He had always seen her as one and that he would always love us. These were his words.

I was short of words. All I could do was to cry and thank him and thank God for the kind of man he had given me because I know that very few men would take that from any woman no matter what; except by the special grace of God.

I am now a happy person and I have genuinely embraced the love of God. We must all learn how to confess our sins to God no matter what so that Satan would be put to shame and as well learn how to forgive others and seek forgiveness when we wrong others.

We now live in the UK. I also had my two boys in the UK...